My Girl 2

23 Apr

When asked if I knew of anyone who wanted a dog, I said “my roommate” does, but, I stressed, again and again, “I don’t want a dog”.  I knew that I would devote myself to your needs, fresh water, quality food and treats, comfortable bedding, safety, and walks twice a day.  Even at my own expense, loving an animal is something that demands all of those things.  And, I didn’t want the responsibility.  But fate dictated that you would become a member of the household and, true to form, I loved you and made sure that your needs were met.  Tonight the screensaver displayed photos of you playing with a neighbor dog, your friend who often joined us on walks at the school.  Already emotional because of memories of another “my girl”, the tears flowed again because you are not here.  I miss you.  I miss our walks, I miss your unconditional acceptance, and I am guilty because I could bring you to live here, but I haven’t, and probably won’t.  The cost, financial, time, emotional…instead of the responsibility, I experience sadness.  Instead of responsibility, I experience relief.  That doesn’t mean I don’t care.

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